Catherine Andrews beats out (or is it bitch slaps?!) 22 other hot women (including one very hot token black woman) for the title of Hottest Media Type, Female, Off Air.

Now, me being from New Orleans, I have to admit to my preference for white women who have a lot of dark coffee mixed in with their cream. But having said that, I'm very pleased to see that a white girl who apparently doesn't spend every free minute of her life reading Harry Potter while locked away in a tanning booth actually won. Some of those other 22 laser-stained chicks look like they have spent way too much orange-crush-skin time on the beaches in virtual Hawaii!

As a guy who would have much preferred to see a black woman win this contest, I must confess that I really do appreciate the natural beautiful look of Catherine Andrews. That's a rare thing to be found across the fruited plains of today's silicone-drenched America. Good for her. Catherine Andrews also doesn't have those typical crazy liberal scared-deer-on-crack-caught-in-the-headlights eyes of Nancy Pelosi that so many humorless liberal chicks I know have. Thank God for that. As a matter of fact, Catherine is almost hot enough to be a Fox News celebrity Republican female talking head! She looks sorta like a white girl version of Michelle Malkin. Very pretty and very natural and very confident and very smart and very sassy. The perfect picture of a hot global warming image for today's very cold and ugly political world.

Yes, maybe I'm mean, cruel and something of an old school Southern segregationist when it comes to my race preference for a beautiful quadroon sister from New Orleans over any lily white chick out there, but when it comes to these plastic uppity liberal white chick D.C. media types with fake tans and fake boobs, well, they just deserve the final destination of what they get in my book!

Now, not that I don't think Kriston Capps deserves his title of Hottest Media Type, Male, Off Air (I think Kriston is cute and adorable as hell and would have voted for him without having to have been encouraged to do so by the free-beer-and-a-hotdog-and-a-bus-ride-to-the-polls-on-election-day Louisiana Democratic Party vote fraud scheme that was engineered and deployed by Edwin Edwards in this covert operation), but unlike that liberal give it up pussy Al Gore, I strongly believe that that Clinton Yates (the token black male in this category that featured 18 mostly white hunks) should keep going back and forth between the Supreme Court and my friend the Reverend Al Sharpton until he finally receives a favorable ruling!

I'm just kidding, Kriston. You deserve it. It's all in good doggerel fun, baby!

Labels: Catherine Andrews, Fishbowl DC, Hottest Media Types, Kanye West, Kriston Capps

posted by The Right Reverend James W. Bailey at 12:18 PM

It's pathetic that this story is currently plastered on the front page of Salon.com. Capps is certainly not hot. Andrews looks like she's auditioning to star in a Charlie Finch wife-beater t-shirt contest of the month. This is the crap that IS the news of the day?! Give me a break. 14 American soldiers died in helicopter crash in Iraq today. Right. It's a slow newsday. Let's talk about a couple of homely looking D.C. "journalist" hounds whose echo chamber friends think are hot.

Dear Anonymous 4:22PM,

Wow. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of their 12" Severus Snape Whorecrux this morning!

For the record, I think Ms. Andrews is damn hot. Personally, I'm sick and tired of all these liberal chicks that look like and waddle like Rosie and Cindy Sheehan. Just because a woman's mind might be frostbitten with liberalism doesn't mean that she has to look like she lives in a Section 8 apartment at Camp Casey. As a matter of fact, I think Catherine Andrews is so hot that she would melt the stone cold heart of a neo-Nazi and have him eating DailyKos for breafast every morning.

I also think you're being rather unfair in your dismissive analysis of the hotness of Mr. Capps. He's from Texas, as I understand it. See if this helps change your opinion of his hotness. Try picturing him wearing a cowboy hat.

Not that I'm not concerned about the War in Iraq, but regarding the Charlie Finch wife-beater t-shirt contest of the month, just exactly how do I get on that mailing list? And is there a Flickr site for images of the contestants?!

Yours in the Spirit of the One True Republican Jesus Christ,

Rev. Bailey

If these two "journalist" clowns are willing to play along with this online fraud, then one can only imagine what misleading statements of fact they perpetrate in print. I did a quick Google on Capps and see that he writes for the Smithsonian Museum of American Art's blog Eye Level. How suprising. He must have been hired by his truth-in-advertising mentor Lawrence Small. Blogger ethics have invaded the nation's attic.

There's about as much diversity of race and face in the ficition of the nominated "hotties" as there is to be found in the reality of the newsrooms of the represented publications that are published in D.C that were featured in this "contest." Obviously, publications like Washington City Paper and Washingtonian Magazine need to take a much closer look at the ethical values (lack of, I should say) of the young journalists they hire. More importantly, and especially in a city that is majority black, these publications need to finally do something about substantively addressing the lack of diversity among their writers. As a black journalist who works for a D.C. publication, I feel very strongly about the fact that unethical young white blogger nerds do not represent the Washington, D.C. I know.

"If these two "journalist" clowns are willing to play along with this online fraud, then one can only imagine what misleading statements of fact they perpetrate in print."

That's funny because it's so true. The hot blogger at WCP can't seem to get his facts staight:

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/display.php?id=1487